Unstoppable Rain
by Wayward Victorian Girl
Summary: COMPLETE The rain is pouring, what a perfect day for a funeral. Natsume reflects on what happened that night. oneshot, told in Natsume's POV, implied NatsumeXMikan. Rated T for character death.


**Disclaimer: you know the drill. **

A/N: I have writers block, so I'm sorry if this sucks. And if there are any mistakes.

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The fat rain drops hitting the window matched the tear falling down my face. I brushed it away; this was the second time I've ever cried. I had been sitting here, in my stiff black pants and black jacket, looking out into the dreary weather. It was the perfect weather for the current situation.

Everyone was here, and everyone was wearing black. Even the teachers were here. We all looked the same, all of us sporting deep frowns and sad looks in our eyes.

I was suddenly aware of a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Ruka looking down at me. He had already asked if I was alright, about a million times already, but he asked again. And I contemplated giving him the same answer.

One simple nod and I would be left alone again. But suddenly the true fact settled even deeper and suddenly I couldn't bear the thought of being alone. I was already alone. I would forever be alone.

So, I shook my head "no". And suddenly Ruka was sitting opposite of me, looking out the window as I was. After a few minutes Hotaru came over to us also.

She is normally the quiet type, and in all the years that I've known her she never said much. But today I knew she would not talk because doing so would hurt her even more. Her eyes were slightly puffy but I knew she wouldn't cry right now.

I looked at the other faces in the room; Yuu was standing with Anna and Nanako, all three of them starring into their drinks, each thinking to themselves.

Sumire was sitting on a chair, bent over with her hands covering her face. Kokoro was standing next to the chair, staring at Sumire, though it was an absent stare.

Narumi was also sitting, with the other teachers. They were the only ones talking, but their voices were so low I could not hear any words.

I turned back to Ruka and Hotaru; he had one arm around her, carefully smoothing her hair. She looked as if she wanted to cry but physically could not do so. I had seen the small tears flowing over her cheeks during the whole funeral.

You see, we were all together because we had all just come back from a funeral. The funeral of a person that had brightened days, a person that always had a smile on her face, a person that never backed down, a person that was always so kind. The funeral of the only girl I had really loved.

The funeral of Sakura Mikan.

I was with her at the time of her death too. I shouldn't have been, or more she should have died that night.

I had yet another mission, but this time it was so close to the school; it was in the school. The battle had gone from the way off forest grounds to the roof of the dorms. I was so absorbed in the enemy I had no idea how we had got there.

It was an almost even battle, but I had a little more advantage. Just one or two more moves and they would be out. And suddenly I heard her voice. Was it in my head? No, I turned to see her standing on the roof, looking more frightened then ever.

I was so distracted that I left an opening for the enemy, which he gladly took. I faced him again just as the gun that I had knocked out of his hand came back into contact with him. He pulled the trigger, and I braced my self for the impact of the bullet, but it never came to me.

Instead it hit Mikan as she dove in front of me. I was standing on the edge of the roof, back towards the open space. She flew straight across me and into that empty air. Time seemed to slow down as I turned and fell to my knees, thrusting my hand out to her. To Mikan, that had a frightened look, as she fell with her back facing the far way ground.

She reached out, but there was too much space between us. I screamed her name, pushing my arm out further, trying to grab the person I did not want to lose. Her look of fear was gone as she dropped her arm and smiled at me.

A sad smile. A smile that told me how glad she was to save me. A smile that told me she knew what she was doing when she jumped in front of me. And how she was not afraid to meet her end, as long as I was okay.

Everything was silent. The loud 'thud' echoed in my ears. I was with her in a matter of seconds. She had her eyes half open. I was aware of the wetness on my face. She said one thing before her beautiful eyes closed forever. One name, said with so much love I will never forget it. "Natsume…"

We took her to the hospital; Hotaru and Ruka had come running outside when they heard my repeated screams of her name, trying to wake her up. Trying to tell myself this wasn't real.

They said the bullet went right next to her heart, which gave her the extra minute to live. I sat in the hospital for I don't know how long. It might have been hours, it might have been days. I repeated the same thought over and over; "it's all my fault".

I blamed myself. I blamed myself for not defeating the enemy in the woods. I blamed myself for not acting quickly enough and dodging the attack myself. I blamed myself for being to slow to grab her hand. I blamed myself for her death.

That was 2 weeks ago. And I still haven't come to terms with the truth. I still expect to see her sitting next to me with happy smile on her face. I still expect her to sit next to me under our Sakura tree.

But it's not going to happen. I will never see her again.

I get up from my seat next to the window. Ruka and Hotaru both snap their attention to me. I pat Ruka's shoulder, saying I need to be alone. I catch everyone's attention as I walk past them.

Their wandering minds and sad faces watch me as I open the door and walk out. I shut the door the quietly, turning the corner and walking down the long dark hallway. I stare at the tiled floor, but lift my head to see the weather. It is raining harder than ever, the dark grey clouds clumped together spilling their tears over the silent grounds.

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A/N: run on sentence at the end. I feel so bad, I always make Mikan jump off roofs in my stories. **


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